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5ive Days To Midnight

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5ive Days to Midnight (aka. Five Days to Midnight)

The two-hour Sci-Fi Channel made-for-TV movies may almost always suck, but you can usually rely on their miniseries for quality acting, writing, and special effects (I loved Taken and Children of Dune, really liked Dune, and there is nothing currently on TV that can compete with the new Battlestar Galactica). Five Days to Midnight breaks the channel's success streak, proving to be easily its worst miniseries to date.

One optimistic, compassionate way to describe "Five Days to Midnight" is ambitious. The thing really does try hard to do ... something. What, you ask? Well, that's the problem, isn't it? It's hard to figure out why the decided to carve out five hours and four days for such absolute pointlessness.

5ive Days to Midnight Trailer (Five Days To Midnight)

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5ive Days to Midnight (TV Mini-Series 2004) - IMDb

This supposedly shocking sequence might be meant to drive home the notion that five days is all too short to a person facing down a death sentence. Amazingly though, "Five Days to Midnight" sinks to such rank levels of stupidity that it threatens to never, ever kill Neumeyer -- and by Wednesday, you'll wish it would.

As it progresses, "Five Days to Midnight" manages to toss every hokey science-fiction plot formula at us, too. Count 'em off: Neumeyer is a Man of Science (formula ingredient No. 1) smacked with an unexplainable phenomenon in the form of a briefcase from the future ( No. 2). Said case contains a police file filled with clues about his murder, set to take place in five days.