You Might be a Redneck If:
You might be a redneck if...Your blood alcohol content has ever exceeded your I.Q.
you might be a redneck, if you think lol means "low on liquor."
You might be a redneck if you have a home that's mobile and three cars that aren't!
You might be a redneck if Thanksgiving was ruined because you ran out of ketchup.
You might be a redneck if your daughter's Sweet 16 is sponsered by Budweiser.
You might be a redneck if you've ever had to wait to use the toilet because the dog was drinking from it.
You might be a redneck if burning lighter fluid is your favorite smell in the world!
You might be a redneck if you think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are: "Play Ball"
You might be a redneck if your school hands out race tickets for perfect attendance.
You might be a redneck if you heat your house with, bacon grease, old motor oil, & chicken grease
More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
You think the stock market has a fence around it.
You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.
Your home has more miles on it than your car.
Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those YosemiteSam mudflaps.
You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.
You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.
Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".
You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.
Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
You have more guns than teeth.
You might be a redneck when you use a weed eater for a blender
You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.
You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
There you have it, some Jeff Foxworthy “You Might Be A Redneck” quotes. Hope they’ve brightened up your Friday. Feel free to check out the other posts in the Quotes section and the Humor category on Running Wolf’s Rant. You might also enjoy reading the Music, Movies, Technology, Gaming, Opinion and Television categories on this blog. And don’t forget about the daily updated Babes and categories. Feedback is appreciated and welcome so feel free to comment if you have an opinion about something.
You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the Southwill rise again.
You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
You can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
You have to go down to the creek to take a bath.
You participate in the "who can spit tobacco the farthest contest".
You roll you hair with soup cans and wash it once a year.
You've never paid for a haircut.
You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirtand thermal underwear.
There is a sheet hanging in your closet and a gun rack hanging in your truck.
You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
You tape phone numbers on the back of your cell phone.
90% of your diet consists of deep fried food.
Your front and back door are on the same hinge
You stare at a box of orange juice in the morning that said concentrate on it .
If your eating duck and it still has a pulse.
If a horse on the side of a country road, pull over and try to put it in the back seat of a Chrysler Newport,You might be a Redneck
If you have your 13 yr old son take you to the liquor store on the back of a very small Honda 50, that's not legal to be on the county roads 13 miles away, you might be a Redneck.